To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.

have not been contacting anyone since....last tuesday?

not sure what happened to me also. ii just feel kind of lost yet cannot describe what is it so please dunt ask what happened to me or why the sudden change in me. ii appreciate everyone who care and bother to ask about me but ii really dunt know how to put it across to uu. =(

today, ii've finally decide to go online to chat and comment on facebook, and do some random stuff.

Note to self: ii've came to realise that there are people who bothers and people who dunt bother.

those who bother will bother those who dunt bother. so question is wouldnt those who bother ever feel tired to keep bothering those who dunt even give a damn?

Sometimes we feel we care too much and the other party dunt even gives a damn but how will we know the other party never did care, whether he/she choose to ignore or choose to hide their feelings?

People like me, gives a damn to everyone who walks into my life, till the extend where iim tiired of holding on to relationships which in the end,we're back to acquaintance. HOWEVER, ii am also the type where ii dunt give a damn, not because ii choose to ignore or bo chup but because ii just hide my feelings so naturally that ii dunt cry nor give warmth to anyone.

this is my weakness. someone told me that before and ii feel its true yet no matter how hard ii try to let myself go in front of others, no matter how many umpteen times ii remind myself to let out my inner self, ii still cant bring out this warm aural. and ii seriously hate this fact about me. am ii just too cool, when ii actually do give a damn to everyone in my life?

ii cant start a conversation.

when iim in a conversation, it'll usually end up with the other party talking until awkward silence breaks out.

ii dunt usually cry, no matter how sad ii am, in front of others.

ii cant give warm comforting hugs. (some people do!)

when people pours their sorrows to me, ii feel so useless that ii cant give any good advice except my listening ears.

when ii see someone cry or feel sad, ii cannot do anything to cheer them up except asking them to look at brighter side of life? or asking stupid question like "why are uu crying/sad?" and because ii wanna prevent myself from asking stupid questions, like the one ii've stated, ii'd just keep quiet and pray hard that he/she will feel better.

ii do care! and sometimes ii even know why are they sad but ii just dunt know how to express it out. iim sucha loser. siiigh~

now to those who are tiired of holding on to the relationships between uu and me, iim sorry and ii do care!

the thing in relationships is "it takes both hands to clap" yet sometimes there's a lack in synergy, when your left hand moves forward yet your right hand stays still or vise-versa. after a while, because of constant "misses", both your hands gets tiired and thus stop trying to get the synergy back, thats when the relationship faded..back to acquaintance or worst, strangers!

=====================================================================================================

"There's one sad truth in life I've found while journeying east and west -

The only folks we really wound are those we love the best.

We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest,

And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best. ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox"

"Sometimes two people need to step apart and make a space between that each might see the other anew, in a glance across a room

or silhouetted against the moon. ~Robert Brault"

"To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada"