hmms... what a day..!! ii'm bushed.. =_=` didn't really slept.. just laze on bed.. it's a fortune to laze on bed uu know..? =X hahas~~ hmms.. ytd.. this morning.. happened alot of things.. thought of many thiings.. maybe it's best not to.. after all.. without me will me better?? *wondering*
like what ii blog the other day.. friends too close will tend to hate each other.. thiink it's time to give space bahs..
hmms.. coming to bgr.. it wunt last long after all..? 2yrs, 3yrs.. to me it's between average and long.. should cherish.. ii'll continue to try very hard to wei chi this relationship.. =) but ii guess.. in the end... it'll still come to a stop?? why ars? my ideal love story must be happy de.. =) and ii must be the female lead... lols.. though it'll be a boring story to the readers but it is filled with happiness and surprise to the leads (me) mahs.. haha!! dreaming...

yeah!!! just called dear.. he bought so many things for me.. hehes.. thanks wors..!! *mwacks* (",#) hehes.. my v'day gifts are coming.. yeah...!!! (^,^*)

**waiting**waiiting**

just bought 1 garfield placard.. wanted to buy all.. but.. no $$.. bought the big one only.. 30 bucks gone.. waited for dear to buy for me.. but ii think by the time he want to buy,it's already gone bahs.. anyways,ii go buy lers lors.. gonna hang on my door.. wohoo~~ it was aeons since ii bought a garfield item.. (",)

Lack.0f.sleep

oh my!! woke up so early today.. 8+am leis.. then laze on bed till now.. ytd was like never slp dao lors.. out of my window,the temporary shelter's lights was still on.. noise drilling thru my walls.. even under my blanket.. it's way past midnight leis.. tot they're not allowed to do that?? **disturbance** -_- make me can't sleep well.. hais.. feeling so restless yet couldn't find any ways to replenish my energy.. ooww~~ where's my energy? in taiwan? lols~~ when they coming sias?? hai me no energy left.. =X

so ytd,went town with yl,shop-eat-movie.. and while walking to cathay,1 guy came cutting in between us.. ii tot who sias.. so rude.. lols.. yl was like gonna shout when on the 2nd look,he's tanna.. -_-!! hmms.. didn't ate much ytd though.. ii was like wanting to eat bugis there the ice-cream.. who want pei me go sia? hais.. anyway, so sorry yl.. hai uu cannot go supper.. lols.. my stomache was like up-side-down.. FD3 was way too gross.. *yucks* a note of caution if uu havent watched FD and uu're gg to watch anytime soon,pls,dun't bring kou rou bao into the theatre and eat.. =X hahas!!

→ There is someone walking behind you, turn around, look at me.

There is someone watching your footsteps, turn around, look at me

There is someone who really needs you, here's my heart in my hand ←

hmms.. actually intended to write lots of things de.. but got interupted when dear called.. hais.. kk.. didn't really wanted to call him cos thai line always cheat my $$ and they talk alot of crap b4 dialling the hp no.. but ii really like their call tone.. =P hahas..

Finally,finally... less than a week more to go.. postings out.. dear will be back.. everything on march 3.. -_-!! what's so nice about march 3 sias? hmms.. 3/3
oh ya.. did uu realised that fish's mouth was an up side down smile? know why? cos they're genes was like that ever since pple started killing and eating them.. =D

Lies the seed that with the sun' s love in the spring
Becomes the rose
Some say love it is a river that drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love it is a hunger an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower and you it's only seed
It' s the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance
It' s the dream afraid of walking that never takes the chance
It' s the one who won't be taken who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter for beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose

Life is a gift and you gotta learn to live it if you believe in love
you gotta learn to give it
Tryin' to find someone who's kind is hard to do
You want the love but you really don't know what to do
You're just afraid of someone breaking your heart
You never learned to live you gave up from the start
You felt the pain but it made you strong
So remember no matter what you will go on

came across this when ii was searching for lyrics.. then tot so meaningful.. so copy it here lors.. guess where ii got this from.. hehes.. =P

8 more days....

hais.. 8 more days till ii see uu again.. it's seems so long for me.. ii'm very afraid that my feelings for uu will change.. but ii somehow stopped myself from doing that.. by thinking of those good times we shared.. so please come back fast.. ii really do need uu.. =(

hais.. ytd night thoughts came streaming through my head.. dunt know why.. just feel sad.. hais.. =(

ii just wish uu didn't leave.. but uu have to.. now, ii'd just have to run away from my problems..

ii'm missing uu really.. all alone and ii have to keep running in this big world

hais.. it's all about me

hmms.. ytd wanted to blog but lazy to type.. got alot ii wanna blog de.. yet forgotten.. ii dunt know what's wrong with me now.. ii thiink ii'm going mia.. =( for some reasons..

the day before ytd,which was sunday,tanna asked me a qn,ii didn't really reply him.. well,if friends gets to close,they tend to hate each other.. lols.. that's what ii thiink lors.. cos uu tend to know them more and uu may realised,they'll not really that good after all?? so ii dunt really get close to them or rather dunt want them to know me too well.. okies.. ii admit ii'm self-conscious.. ^-^

haiis.. everyone fears for march 3rd,me too.. but ii'm eager for that day to come,yet thiinking that it's my dooms day? hais.. sads..

kie lahs.. shan't blog any longer here.. feeling kinda bad.. dunt know why.. ??badgirl=badlife??

cheriish everyone

Cheriish the people around uu..

Especially ur family...

just finished watching 18 sui de tian kong.. last epi lers ii think.. so sad leis this epi.. touched my heart.. made me learn smth..

there's this happy-go-lucky guy,tot his life was so fortunate,suddenly received a call during lesson time that his parents died in a fatal car accident.. imagine u're him and within a second,uu lost ur closest 2 people in ur life.. ur hse used to have them and now.. uu lived in an empty hse filled with memories only.. hais~~ sads right?

blog in here after helping dear lvl up in maple just now.. then yl say she can't see my pics.. but ii can leis.. hmms.. funny.. tanna also cannot see..maybe my com lag.. =( didn't restart it cos anyway,ii gg to slp lers mahs..

feeling kinda hungry now.. heart very uncomfortable.. bu zhi wei she me... hais..

didn't give dear a call cos everytime call him,they will say " ur call is unsuccessful,press 1 to make a new call " or " the number uu have just dialled is not assign.. pls check ur number and call again." -_- worst of all worst, ii dial the no,the line was blank for 30 secs after which they'll say call unsuccessful.. hais.. it's different if ii can redial.. but ii cant mahs.. got so many numbers to dial leis.. hais~~ why cant they just get thru? and later dear gg for outfield lers.. cant contact him till next thursday.. hais~~ ii'm all alone again.. =(

funny!!

been so busy last few days.. went round sg to visit all the polys.. luckily got yl and tanna pei me go.. think not much chance to get into poly lors.. cos they say must pass maths and science.. hais~~

so many funny things had happened during these 2 days.. if ii'm not wrong,these 2 days were the days ii kept laughing,just like those sec 2,3 days,at mac there,laugh until stomache pain, mouth muscles cramp lors.. hahas~~ hmms.. recalling back those secondary school days.. so memorial.. ^-^

::tuesday,valentine's day::

the three of us went to tp which ii forgotten to bring my testi along and they have to pei me back home,then back to tp to submit the form.. hais.. so sorry.. wasted so much time.. after tp, we went rp,which looks like.... "zoo" =X lols~~ the redhill there de lahs.. hahas.. but the new rp was like :: "WOW!!!" nice.. hahas~~ then we went to kfc eat.. and everything in that kfc looks fake.. the burger,the fries,the sink.. hahas~~ we laughed till siao lors.. after eating,we went to katong see games.. cos on the way mahs.. alighted at katong, we girls wanted to go toilet.. tanna brought us from katong mall to katong sc.. -_-!! so smart.. lols~~ after seeing the games,which was so ex and so limited,we went to bedok to change games and drink milo dino which tasted so.... "errks" s_S then when to meet hy at ws to hear her story.. (psst!! yl,really 5 minutes only leis) hahas~~ then we went back home lers.. ii applied dae for rp online.. np,sp and nyp must go there apply.. hais~~

wednesday :: tiiring day~~

met at 2pm at psr mrt then we head down to sp.. and when we reached there,we got demoralised.. cos sp dae only intake those english fail de,but maths and sience pass.. hais~~
so we head down to np.. took mrt which was only 1 stop.. -_-!! went np,we're also demoralised again cos their dae also same as sp's.. or was all the poly's the same? anyway,we took 961,intended to alight at woodlands inter and change to 911 to get to rp.. the bus ride was so slow lors.. we tot bus faster than train..haha.. time checked, around 5:45pm we've just reached kranji.. Oh my!! alighted half way and hopped on to a cab.. we reached there around 5:55pm.. though the sch still u/c,it's still so class lors.. more nicer than simei east college.. hahas~~ so big.. yl say like taiwan's schools.. hahas!! so funny.. after tanna submitted his dae,we sat outside rp's office dunt know for what also.. hahas.. then went causeway pnt eat waffle ice cream.. and it was so ex.. cos not tuesday mahs.. we started crapping there.. tanna made yl laugh especially when her mouth got ice cream or water that time.. hahs!! that was funny.. took 969 to tamp but alighted at khatib to change to mrt cos the bus got cockroaches.. eeee!!!
the mrt not much pple so we started taking photos of each other.. hahas.. camera angles,makes photo so unreal!! hahas.. at around 10+ reached tanah merah eat prata cos we havent eat dinner!!! oh no..!! guessed we lost so much weight cos tues we didn't eat lunch as we're rushing.. wed we ate late dinner cos time passes so fast.. hahas!! but poor tanna ytd didn't eat luch b4 we meet ii think.. hahas!! okies.. back to where ii stopped,we ordered many pratas and we couldn't eat finish,ii also dunt know why.. maybe bcos we laughed too much lers.. hahas!! we add lines to the pple seating around us.. like as if we're them.. so funny!! hahas.. kk.. got to go edit the photos ii shoot.. ^-^*


:::The story of T & Y:::

Valentine's Day

today valentine's day leis.. dear not by my side.. anyway,he also dunt mean to de.. he said next time pei me celebrate every valentines'.. hahas.. on this lonely valentine,ii'm not lonely.. cos ii've got uu in my heart,where uu always will belong... hees.. but ii still want my valentine's gifts this year kies? lols.. =PpP

actually now should go yl's hse help sh do her v'day gift for her dear de.. but wayn dunt let me go out,kept asking me to help him play maple.. hahas.. when he's asleep,ii so tired to move lers.. lols.. sorry sh.. and she's so funny.. yue jiang yue can.. lols..

dear called me 3 times today.. but ii still outside.. reached home wanted to call him,he off phone lers.. 1 day never hear his voice lers leis.. so miss him.. hais.. later still got to go out early for the poly thing.. jo asked me to go early cos alot of pple and try rp cos chances higher.. but ii'm till here blogging..! =X hais.. like what sia.. why end up like this..? no where to go.. no place for me.. if only.. if only....... hais.. better dunt probe on it lers.. it's over and let's get done with it... anyway,it has alreadyy happened mahs.. what's the used of crying over spilt milk..

think later also cant talk much to dear lers.. wanna wish him happy valentines but.. hais.. it's just so difficult for us to get in contact.. so sads.. these few days really really feeling down.. wanting to cry out loud but ii can't... ii wun't... cos ii dunt want let they all see me cry.. wait they will make me laugh? lols sians.. also dunt know what ii'm talking..

anyway, HAppy Valentine's to all.. show ur love to the ones uu care for on this special day..!!!

~~~everyday's a valentine's day for uu and me only~~~

hmms.. went wild wild wet with bernyse they all.. cos got wet pass mahs.. so go lors.. didn't play much there cos we 3+ then went in.. hahas!! but overall quite fun lors.. cos got alot of funny things happened.. hahas..
but today,dunt know why so coincident,saw him.. very long never see him lers.. think 2yrs plus? hmms.. never really notice him till he smiled at me.. ii tot who sias.. didn't really care much.. then he called me -_-!! he still recognise me sias.. ii forgotten him lers.. 2nd look then recognised him.. =X he asked me where ii studying now.. but ii didn't reply cos ii know he's in jc b4 so dunt tell better? hahas.. anyway,ii think he shld know bahs..
soon,ii was out of dte,on the way home.. then called dear cos ii really miss him alot..!! hais.. it's been 10 days only.. and it's like 10 yrs..!! oh my!! ii miss the way he look into my eyes,the way he hold me in his arms.. ii'm just simply missing him!! quickly pass 18 more days hao mahs.. ii'm now feeling very low,very lost.. dunt know what to do.. just hope dear is there 4 me.. hais.. sads~~

hais!! results!!

nothing to talk abt now.. nothing.. ii'm numb lers.. no feelings and ii'm soul-less..
feel like crying.. but ii wunt,anyway,no one will know how ii feel.. it's indescriptable.. no one will even be there for me.. hais..
told dear ii cant make it,he only said " haiya!" -_-!! suan ler lor.. everybody knows my ending even me.. but ii just can't accept the fact? what a harsh reality..!!

WAKE UP JOYCELYN!!! YOU'RE LIVING IN THIS PRACTICAL WORLD..!! IT'S ALL ABOUT REALITY!! NO EFFORTS,NO GAIN.....

what a silly me.. time to wake up?? hais,guess ii'm playing no more.. ii'm out in this world and ii'm gonna change,whether they like it or not... ~~~

sians.. taking results..!!

sians.. results outing soon.. received a sms from dear,telling me dunt be scared cos he's always with me.. hahas.. so happy.. didn't expect his sms cos ytd we said later ii know my results lers then call him.. but now.. ii cant call him.. ii forgot to tell my mum to help me buy hello card.. and now,my hello card no enuff $$ to call him.. hais.. sads~~

ytd was really sorry that ii was angry with dear.. lols.. cos ii was angry at that moment mahs.. some stupid noob -helmag- defamed me for no reason!! ii didn't do anything to him and worst,ii didn't even know him.. was so furious.. cos my fame wasn't that high.. hais.. so called for mass defame on him. lols.. that part was fun..!! duttie,rugix,kp,heartshot and nic came help me.. wahaha.. thanks guys.. my guild,no use de.. all the pple in thailand.. -_-

okie.. back to where ii was,ii tot dear would be a little bit more concerned abt my illness but his first sentence was ....... dunt wish to say.. anyway,it's over liaos.. for that 1hr of steaming hot mood,ii smiled for once,when dear sms me asking me to rest more all that.. hehes.. thanks dear for giving in to me.. uu're really my sun,able to make my heart melt and smile at the same time.. =)

soon,ii was out with yl and ak for awhile only.. then went with yl to meet her friend or ---? hahas.. so long still no progress.. went tamp cos got to buy pizza for small boy,wayn.. while waiting for pizza,yl went toilet.. then he ask me after o go where.. ii replied go itc.. cos last yr never study.. then he ask me retake o join his sch.. lols.. too late already? hahas.. ii was given a chance but ii didn't cherish it.. no one to blame but me.. now, my future is bland.. what's my future,where is it?? ii wunt know.. ii can only walk aimlessly on this planet... with no goals.. hais.. took bus 3,the journey was short not like what ii always tot that it was long.. maybe bcos there were too much thoughts running thru my head.. soon,ii was left on the lonely street,so dark,so gloomy.. more thoughts came gushing down my head.. what was ii afraid of?ii knew this would happen,today will come.. hais..

kk gotta go check letter lers.. my results~~ it's just so expected..~~

First-time of yr2006,ii'm sick !! S_s

Feeling so blue.. ii'm siick!!!

ii hate today? hmms.. many things happened.. dunt wish to say anymore.. my throat hurts like a splinter is stuck in the middle of my throat.. what a day..

morning woke up and my stomach wasnt feeling comfortable..tot it was morning blues so went to work.. little did ii know that my stomach was getting worse when ii reported for work.. hais.. during work,within 2 hrs vomited 3 times.. my stomach was like a sponge? kept contracting,as if it wanted to sqeeze something out of my poor intestines even though there was nothing left..!! wanted to sit down cos my whole body was feeling nimble and weak... like a jelly? but ii wasnt allowed to.. worst of all worst,ii wasn't even allowed to go to the ladies so many times.. what do they expect me to do? vomit in their face? lols.. it'll be bad~.. so ii wanted to take half day off,but hc said must 2 days before tell them.. -_-!! who will know 2 days b4 they will fall sick.. hc then called hamster to replace me.. then say ii no need work lers.. ii also no mood to work in that shitty place..!! anyway,in the 1st place,ii went on the account that ii promised hc that ii'll work mahs.. if not,this morning ii dunt even bother to go.. came home,told my mother ii sick,she ask me dunt work lers.. so xin ku for what,as if no $$ hahas..love my mum lots..!! hahas!!

hais.. played maple today,heard from nic that maple can get married..lols.. so went to check it out..so cute sias.. saw many pple get married today..hahas.. can even send out invitations to friends for the celebration.. hahas.. cute cute wors~ when is my turn? lols.. ii also dunt know.. hahas..

chat with dear today but didn't chat much.. cos sore throat.. hais.. so sorry dear.. tot can work then earn $$ buy something for uu,but fell sick.. and promised uu that ii'll take care of myself when uu're away,and in the end,ii'm sick now.. hais.. so sorry.. =(

chatted woth yl today,only to know that she also got stomach pain.. lols.. so funny..!! played o2jam with ly ytd night..so fun.. lols.. then saw her this morning at tamp mrt station.. so long never see her lers.. she called my name from behind,ii tot who sias.. lols..

kk lahs.. gotta slp lers.. so late lers.. stomach and throat still so pain.. hais.. what a day~~!!

Oh no..! results out on friday!! -lols- as if ii dunt know like that.. anyway,it doesn't bother me at all.. just take it the way it is.. cos last yr really didn't study as much as the previous yeat.. regretted retaking o's sia.. after 1 yr,still back at square 1,with nothing done.. should have just straightaway get into east collage.. waste my 1 yr.. but who to blame? nobody!! cos it's my choice.. -_-!!
yesterday was a really boring day for me.. it's sunday,uu know.. usually have my dear by my side.. but today.. hais.. 3 more sundays to go but ii'll endure to the very last.. he called me 3 times ytd? lols.. so happy~ but always dunt know what to talk to him.. maybe to much things to say? hahas.. ii also dunt know why.. then today he called me once bahs.. his hp siaos siaos one.. everytime ii call him,it will auto shut down.. so angry cos waste my $$ mahs.. but after that,thought it might be fate? fate wants me to save $$ yet make me spend more instead.. hahas..
yesterday till today help my dear lvl up his maple char.. but it's taking just so much time to lvl up 1 time.. and that o2jam keep d/c-ing me..!! hais.. so sads..=( re-editted this bloggy last night and yet,ii still find it ugly in some ways.. dunt know why.. dunt ask me..
watched jue dui xiao yuan superstar, geraldine kena kick out.. why?? she sing songs so nice lors.. always da dong wo de xin.. hais.. sads but anyway,ii also dunt care.. lols.. superband coming.. must watch.. cos got NIU NAI...!! lols..
kk lahs.. stopping here.. found 1 new game.. dunt know nice mahs.. gotta go try it lers.. nights!! >,<


The Day My Heart Stop Beating Will Be The Day Uu Stop Loving Me~~~ ~~ ~

~27-m0rE-dAys~

Now watching shi ba sui de tian kong while d/l-ing songs for o2jam.. got to know this show when ii was in hk.. watch 1st,2nd epi then come back sg know that here also got show.. -_-!! but by the time ii watch,already epi 15 lers.. hahas.. retard..!! anyway the show very nice mahs.. so watch lors.. long time never play o2 lers cos last time the songs very limited.. then heard from ly that now can d/l songs,so play lors.. hahas.. then forgotten my user id -_-!! gotta start all over again.. hahas..

afternoon time,jw asked me out but ii lazy.. helping my dear to lvl in maple.. lols.. some more after that ii got dinner..

dinner time,dear called me..!! oh my~~ ii cant chat with him today cos ii'm still having my dinner outside..!! hais.. he said tmr then.. so sad..=(

yl asked me whether want work on monday not.. ii dunt even know whether ii wanna work lols.. feeling kinda uncomfortable in my mood today.. some mixture of pek chek and bored that kind of feelings.. dunt know why also.. hais..

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.

came across this somewhere in the web.. so nice so ii copied lors.. hahas!!

28 more days~~

did ii just cried? ii think ii did.. ='(
Dear called me just a few minutes ago.. had a chat with him.. guess i'm just touched bahs.. so a tear dropped.. ii mean ii waited for his call and tot he wasn't going to call but he did call although he was tired and it was late in the night.. ii was like so glad that he'd called cos he'll be gg out for an outfield from sat till wed.. 5 days..!! oh my..!! anyway,thanks dear.. it was thoughtful of uu calling me even when uu're tired.. ii just miss uu so..
28 more days b4 ii can see him.. so long.. yet with not much patience.. but ii will endure de.. =P
ytd went out with yl,sh and the group of boys.. was really shocked to know that the boys are coming cos ii really didn't know they're gg mahs.. then bought only 10 bucks and they suggested eating at fish n co.. oh my~!! anyway,it's better than staying at home facing the com bahs.. hahas.. my dear did called me ytd when ii was eating ice-cream.. but he didn't say the words ii wanna hear.. sads~~~ guess he busy bahs.. just asked me go buy the card..
okies.. spent my day today,lvling in maple and learning how to do the radioblog thing.. learning and trying till now.. so retard.. why others can do,yet ii cant? dummiie..!!

ii have not much patience..
but the little patience ii have,
ii will use it on waiting for uu...

02-02-2006 >> my dear at thailand lers

at last...!! done finish this stupid blog.. hahas.. spent 3 hrs for this.. -_-!! actually ok lers.. but this stupid com hanged.. then restarted all over cos never save.. hahas.. stupid sias..
last night sent my dear off at airport.. so unwilling.. hais.. 1 month without seeing him,my heart feels some how funny leis.. he came to my hse before we left for the airport.. he msged me this morning,ii slept like a pig.. so 12 noon then replied.. too late lers.. wait for his sms again tonight lors..
went to watch midnight movie with my dear last monday.. coincidently,saw sh and her guy.. and they were just seating beside me.. -_-!! dear slept at my hse.. then tuesday night ii slept over at his hse.. lols..
now yl want to go out.. siaos one.. always last minute.. hahas.. dunt feel like going out.. but she said she's going to treat me dinner.. lols.. dunt know true mahs.. hahas.. as usual,sure discuss till 4pm,5pm de.. hahas..cos we off topic again.. -_-Zzz
kk lahs.. want go play maple lers.. update more next time?? =X