“You’ll never finish your novel.”
“You’ve wasted your life.”
“You’re too complicated. Who would ever want to be with you?”
Sometimes my inner critical voice is so clear I can argue with it. Most of the time, the negativity I wreak upon myself is unconscious and harder to fight.
A threat to self-actualization
“[A]n internal enemy and may be thought of as a threat to self-actualization and self-fulfillment.
It tends to foster inwardness, distrust, self-criticism, self-denial and limitation, addictions, and a generalized retreat from one’s goal-directed activity.”
Step One: Identifying What Your Critical Inner Voice is Telling You
In order to challenge their negative attacks, people must first become aware of what their critical inner voice is telling them.They can do this by identifying an area of their lives where they are especially critical of themselves and then pay attention to what the criticisms are.
As a person discovers what the self-attacks are, it is valuable to articulate them in the second person, as “you” statements.For example, instead of saying “I feel so lazy and useless,” a person would say “You are so lazy. You’re useless.”
When people utilize this format in voice therapy, they are encouraged to express their critical thoughts as they hear or experience them, and this often leads to them accessing the hostility that underlies this self-attacking system.
Step Two: Recognizing Where Your Voices Come From
After people verbalize their critical inner voices in this manner, they often feel deeply, and they have insight into the source of their voice attacks.
They have unusual clarity, as they begin to recognize that the content and tone of their voice attacks is old and familiar; their voices are expressing attitudes that were directed toward them as children.
They will often say things like, “That’s what my father used to say” or “That’s the feeling I got from my mother,” or “That was the atmosphere in my home.”
Recognizing where their voices originated helps people develop compassion for themselves.
It has to make sense
“In order to eliminate self-criticism, it has to make sense to you to eliminate self-criticism.
“As long as you hold it as sensible to criticize yourself for making this or that big mistake or for failing yourself in this or that big way, you will continue to criticize yourself.”
“The alternative to self-criticism isn’t denial or a merry relinquishment of power and control.”
This is Joyz'
